Tag Archives: rewrite

Got Shining Approval From Alpha Reader on First Chapter: Naked Alliances

draft cover 001

I’m so excited I have to share. *giggles*

The rocket scientist read my rewrite of chapter one and he said, “This is great!” He went on to say that it really changed his perspective on the interrelation of the two plot lines. He really likes it!

I tightened it up and was able to work the first chapter in a way that it not only starts off with intense action, but introduces both the murder mystery and crime thriller at the very beginning. This way, you are not reading through to chapter three before ever getting into the crime thriller part. Originally, I had started off with info about the cold case. It was interesting, but did not have the necessary punch to grab a reader and pull them into the story.

A bonus is that four main characters are introduced in the first chapter, so you get to know them all from the very beginning.

This will make for a much better “Look Inside”.

I started off planning a prologue, and wrote what ended up being a complete character profile of Cara Kieu and her history. It did NOT work at all, but gave me some really good ideas for a chase scene.

I scrapped it and started reworking the first chapter. It has guns, villains, the P.I., a high speed car chase, Brandi, Cara, the murder victim’s surviving husband, and introduces both cases in 2793 action packed and informative words. There’s also a small amount of revision to be done in subsequent chapters, so it does NOT necessitate a major rewrite.

AND, most significantly, the alpha reader loves it!  🙂 

Okay, I’m done. *breathes*

Now for this entertaining commercial break:

An important message about gun safety!

Doubt Dancing Back to Idaho with JSM

Yesterday I left Doubt, the raven, at home and went out for a stellar day on the Space Coast you can read about here. I left Doubt at home on purpose for three reasons: 1) He flirts with gulls. 2) He and the rocket scientist were double teaming me. And, 3) He’s learning to dance.

They are probably both right. The manuscript needs some work. It may need a massive rewrite.

I have too many characters as it is, IMHO, and the RS thinks I should add more. Doubt shakes his head, and then nods. I think he’s trying to tell me, “No, you don’t need more characters…what you need is to rewrite and separate these two crimes into two books so both can be developed better.”

Anyway, that is where I am today.

I have a plane ticket for Doubt. I couldn’t see putting him in a package in this heat, so he should be back in Idaho in a few hours. We are ten minutes from the airport. I am keeping a few feathers he lost when we went over the MS together…just as reminders.

Look out C.S. Boyack…here he comes! He’s learned some dance moves, too.

If you haven’t seen JustSomeMotion (JSM) dance, you are missing a real treat. Put this on the full screen and turn up the volume. I love this guy and have watched a hundred times. He reminds me of my son…ten years ago. I don’t know if my son, Bryan, could move like this today, but he used to. After they have been gone about ten years, you really miss them!